Eve of New Year's Eve ...

"Praise the LORD. Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good; His love endures forever." Psalm 106:1

Here I am again since I have lots of down time at work due to finishing my workloads plus some workloads of my coworkers who are on vacation.

I can't believe 2009 is almost over and 2010 will be here in no times! What a year it has been! There were good times and bad times in 2009. Most people I talked to are ready for 2009 to end and 2010 to begin. I have mix feelings about it. I think I am ready for 2010 and what it will bring but I also enjoyed what I did in 2009.

Although I will somewhat miss 2009, I am looking forward to what 2010 will bring. I am waiting on the LORD and what He will do in and through my life. I been thinking a lot about going to law school or even start thinking about a new job or even a promotion to my current job. In all this thoughts though, I am grateful for what God has done in my life thus far. I am so thankful that God has provided for me time and time again. I am thankful that I am working and have a church family. I am thankful for my family who prays and thinks of me constantly. I am thankful for friends who encourage and challenge me pretty much daily encounters. If I can come up with what 2009 means to me it would be being thankful.

What are you thankful for this year? I want this next year to be filled with thanksgivings and new adventures. I wait eagerly for the LORD and I hope He will fill you with peace and love beyond words. Thanks for reading my blog! Cheers!

Reflection

I can't believe it's been a while since I last wrote on my blog. Sorry. Life has been crazy busy. New friends, old friends. Busyness of life.

With everything going on, people would say I am happy and content. Am I? I feel like there's more to life than what I am doing right now. I am content with my job but it's not what I am passionate about. To be honest, I have been in this funk these past months and I desperately want to get out of it. I want to feel alive and live the life that God has created me to do. I want to go and do His will. As much as I want to just take the risk, I feel like God is telling me to wait. Wait and pray.

Patience is not one of my strengths, actually it's a weakness of mine. I do not like waiting so I try not to be late so that the other person will not wait on me. However much I hate waiting, I think that I just need to wait. Wait on the LORD. Where is He leading me?

As end of the year approaches and new year begins, I want to make a covenant with God and strive to live a life that is pleasing to Him. I desire to be in His will and help others come to relationship with Him.

What am I doing with my life? Who am I becoming to be? I think there's going to be a lot of reflection and evaluation in my life these coming days.

Thanks for reading! May God grant you peace and love in your life. :)

Rest....

Rest. Simple word; yet, I don't do it enough. My favorite day of the week is Sunday. I love Sundays because I consider that day to be my sabbath. Day of rest. Do I actually rest though? Not really. I somehow manage to do something or other and do not get the rest I need or want. Recently, I been desiring rest more than ever. I have been sick with allergies/sinus or possibly a cold. What does it mean to rest? I need to chew on this some more...more to come later.

Salt and Light

"You are the salt of the earth...You are the light of the world." Matthew 5:13-14

I finally had the time to watch the webcast of sermons I missed past two weeks for A1:8. I am co-leading a group called Nightingale NE and this group is about 'reaching out to those who can't reach us with love, comfort and basic needs.' The desire to minister to patients and hospital staffs grew out of passion that God placed in my heart and my co-leader's heart. I have experience being the patient in the hospital and there were times when I felt lonely when people did not come visit me while I was recovering from some surgery I had for my burn scars. I got my fair share of hospital stays and going to check-up visits when I wasn't an inpatient. Even amidst being at the hospital a lot, I also had fair share of being at school or trying to catch up on assignments I missed by staying after school. I did not get to do a lot of sport activities due to limitations from surgeries I was recovering at that particular time; however, I was active in various extra-curricular activities. I did not exactly fit in at school because I guess I strive to live a life that radiate Christ. Don't get me wrong, I have my struggles and failures in my life. I think from a young age, my family placed great importance of having Christ in my life and living out my faith. I still try to figure out what it means to be a 'salt' and 'light' for Kingdom of God. Me, smallest and least in the Kingdom of God if there ever be one, loved by the Creator God for being me. How can a Big God love me? And, how can God love this world so much that He would send His One and Only Son, Jesus? Why did Jesus make a huge sacrifice and give us gift of grace? How come Holy Spirit lives within us when we accept Jesus in our lives? There are so many questions and I am forever a student desiring to know Him better. I was very impressed to learn that there is 14,000 uses for salt and light is basis of everything. How could I ever be the 'salt' and 'light' in this world? I am not sure. This year God put a challenge within me to love my neighbor as myself and to love someone even if that person does not love me back or love someone who least expect it. Progress of this challenge, let's just say, I am struggling and trying to figure out what loving my neighbor looks like. Jesus made it look easy to love people; however, I think that it was lot harder than I imagine for Jesus. I mean, Jesus loved all kinds of people even people who did not love Him back. Jesus loved, loves and will love people and He does not care who that person is or was or will be. Agape, unconditional love. I think as humans, it's not very possible unless that person has Jesus in his or her life. Whether we like it or not, there's always some kind of condition to being loved or giving love. For instance, parents expect their children to do well in school and grow up to be something worthy to the society. Friends expect trust, honesty, love, loyalty and other qualities depending on that friend. There's condition that's visible and invisible. However, God's love, it's unconditional. Amazing Grace! Amazing Love! What I cannot do by myself, God can. God can use me to love people when least expected. God can encourage someone by giving me the words or listening ears for that person. God can. What is impossible with me, it's possible with God. Being 'salt and light', I am not sure I can be just that but with God, I can be just that. I am excited about what God will do through and in my life. I am so excited about what God will do through and in the lives of my brothers and sisters in Christ. I am super excited about what God will do in the present and in the future. I am thankful for the followers of Christ before me who lived their lives to be the 'salt and light' in this dark world. I desire to be more like Christ and walk with Him wherever He leads me. I want to be His 'salt and light' in this world. I am little and small but I have a great and big God who can do more than I can imagine with my life. Thank you LORD for who you are and what you have done, is doing and will do. May Christ radiate in your life and lavish His love upon you! Thanks for reading!

Light, Camera....and Love.

I love being challenged on how I think and be able to take another perspective on issues that I think about a lot. Today was one such day. I met with my mentor/friend who challenges me so much every time I meet with her. She got to the core of the issue and lovingly confront me on how I love people. I told her I was struggling with the whole idea of loving certain people and she pointed to the story about the prostitute who was dragged by the pharisees to Jesus. Jesus didn't condemn the prostitute and stun the pharisees by asking them if they are without sin. It was one of those light bulb moments when I realized who am I to judge and am I not doing the same things the pharisee was doing to the prostitute if I have hard time loving people who are "sinners". So much to chew on and really look at who am I loving on. Am I only loving on people who are just like me or am I loving everyone like how Jesus loved? Jesus loved people deeply and gave us what true love look like. I think today's meeting was time of humbling me and I am so grateful for my mentor/friend who let me come to realization about how I live my life. I think I have been so hung up about the little things, I am missing the bigger picture of loving people. One question that sticks out to me most is how can I love someone when I cannot accept the whole person's identity? I have much to learn about love and need a lot of help from Jesus. I want to be more like Jesus and to love people as He did. What would this world look like if everyone loved each other as ourselves and stop thinking about just about ourselves? There wouldn't be all this pain and suffering people go through if everyone loved each other. Maybe, if one person loves another person truly and that becomes a chain reaction, then, that would be just amazing! "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him." John 3:16-17. God loved us so much and sent His Son to save us, not to condemn us, so who am I to condemn? I want to live a life of love and not bring judgment on people who may have different way of living then I do. I give it all to Jesus and I want Him to reign in me. Love surpasses all wrongs and embraces us just as we are. Thanks for reading and may Christ's love dwell richly in you!

God is ... Love

This last weekend, Craig Groeschel, pastor of LifeChurch.tv delivered the message on God is...Love. It's true, I heard all my life that God loved me but I'm not sure half of that time I heard that I truly believed it. Lately, all I can think about is how can a great God love me. I am amazed by His Grace and I don't think I truly understand how much God loves me. God loves each and every one of us that He would send His One and Only son to experience death and cleanse of our sins. God loves us so much that He came down to earth and became one of us. I think that God gives His Grace and Love to us and it is up to us either to accept it or decline it. My life without Him would contain chaos and fear. Even in the dry season when I feel like God is in the distant and I am at my worst, I know that He is with me through it all. Who am I that He would call me His own? I think I would be the smallest in the Kingdom of God if there ever was one. I constantly fail in loving my neighbor as myself and I am not sure I am loving my enemies as Jesus commended. I want to love like Jesus and follow hard after Him. To deny myself and take up His cross. Can I do that? Not on my own power but with His, I can. How do you see God? My God is Love and He loves me just for who I am. Grazie Signore. May Christ love dwell abundantly in your heart! Thanks for reading! :)

All Things New...

Yesterday was my first day of my new job and I also went to Hillsong United concert that I needed. I really love the Hillsong United's heart that it's not about the show but about encountering God by worshipping Him in singing the songs. Lately, I am just so amazed by His Grace and how can a Great God love us, sinners. Christ died for us and He died for me, smallest of all. I feel so minuscule and sometimes I wonder how can God use a person like me in this world, but He does. He is using me constantly even when I don't realize He is using me. For instance, my story is His story. Whenever I tell people about why I look the way I do and the joy that fills my heart, it's all Him. He's my reason for living and being here in DC. I can't imagine not having Him in my heart. Past weekend, Pastor Mark spoke about God is ... Spirit and I am still chewing on that. I think sometimes we as Christian forget about the Holy Spirit and I think I am coming to learn that I need the Holy Spirit in my life. God the Father, God the Son and God the Spirit. I thirst and hunger for His coming. There's so many people who are searching for something to fill the longing they have. I wish with all my heart that they will stop searching because the answer is right in front of them; but who am I to say stop the search, I can't. More I read the Bible, more I become intrigued and in awe of God. His Love is beyond all measures and so amazing. I fail. I stumble. I am imperfect. However, His Grace has pick me up from the dirt and He whispers that He loves me just as I am. How can I keep on sinning when we have a God who loves us first? So many questions and thoughts to ponder. May God fill you with His love and may you experience His Grace. Thanks for reading!