Healing Process

Scars. I'm going to be honest. I have lots of them. Burn scars. Relationship scars. Situational scars. Yeah, it's tough having scars but by the grace of God, some of my scars are healed or in the process of healing. My burn scars probably is the most visual and I see my scars as not ugly but God's reminder of His great love for me. I would not be living right now if it wasn't God's purpose for me to live. Most people do not know this about me but I had various moments when I should not be living; however, God has a plan for my life and I am alive. Out of 14 kids, I was one of the seven who lived. God prevented my aunt from taking her life and my life (by the way, I was blinded for a short period of my life due to reconstructive eye surgery) and God is using my aunt for His glory. With each surgery, I had high chance of not living but I came out of the surgery alright. So yes, I am very grateful to God who has allowed me to live and follow hard after Him. I cannot imagine my life without Christ and I would not be the person I am now. For me, I think one of the hardest scars is relationship. Today, pastor Heather delivered a message on relationship scars and it was a hard one to hear. Challenging yet just what I needed to hear. Ever since I got burned, people of all ages either mocked, teased or stared at me for my appearance. Friends who I thought were my friends betrayed me and I was hurt by these relationships. However, through Christ, I have come to forgive and live in love. Don't get me wrong, there are times I have much difficulty in loving someone who does not love me back or hurt me profoundly. God is continuously working on my heart and He gives me the love when I do not have love to give to someone who is difficult to love. Going to Ethiopia, God taught me about loving my neighbor as myself in many situations. Loving the beggars, loving the orphans, loving those who do not look or talk like my friends or me. I am human and I have times when I just do not want to love my neighbors; however, Christ commanded His followers to love our neighbors as ourselves. There are days when I just want to give up on loving people because just like everyone, I want to be loved back but God has been putting on my heart to love people even though I may not get the love back in return. Sigh. Tough challenge. In my present circumstance, I have relationships/friendships that I just want to give up on and not give of myself so much. However, God whispers in my heart that I should not give up and that He will give me the strength to love. Watching the video and hearing pastor Chris' story, I was very much moved and his story inspired me a lot. God can turn a hardened heart into something so beautiful! I am just amazed and awe at God who loves us so much He would be one of us and experience what it's like to be a human. What a God we have! Even though I am weak, He is so strong and I put my trust in Him. God is healing my scars and it's not easy, least to say. I still have moments when I want to be healed immediately; however, I believe God is revealing His power with longer time to heal for a reason I may not know right now but maybe I will know later. Even though I may not be beautiful outward, I strive to be beautiful inward and want to be beautiful for my Lord. One day, I will come before Christ and He will completely heal me of all the scars. What a day it will be! I pray that you will experience God's love each day! Thanks for reading!