Going Forward

It's been a roller-coaster ride for me lately and while at first I didn't want to be on the roller-coaster ride, now I am in it and not looking back. This whole job searching process has been interesting and great learning experience. I turned a job offer down and then been turned down a job since the position was filled by someone else. Now, I have a job interview coming up for a position that I applied for a month and a half ago at the current company I am working for as a consultant. When one door closes, a window is opened. I believe that I can't sulk over jobs that I didn't get but learn from the process. I think I tend to beat myself up and criticize myself. As recovering perfectionist and people-pleaser, I need to stop being so hard on myself and learn from my mistakes or failures. I don't regret taking risk and I rather take the chance of making a mistake or failure rather than doing nothing. That being said, when I do make a mistake or a failure, I analyze what I did wrong way too long and thus beat myself up more than necessary. I cross-examine and re-play the scenario in my head. Then, I focus on what I should have said or done in that certain situation. I think I need to refocus myself not on what I did wrong but what I did right more and then from there learn from it. I realize more and more that I can't be perfect in every given situation and that I will make mistakes and fail at times. As many mistakes and failures I have, there's times when I will succeed and will make progress. With finding permanent job, I am making progress and eventually, I will find one that will best suit me. I don't want to be in a job that I want but I want to be in a job that will help me go forward. I don't want more money or higher status but I want a job where I can learn and gain experiences. I hope through this job I can help advance Kingdom of God whether through the work I do or using my skills, talents, gifts and experiences for Kingdom of God. I want God to be the center of my life and wherever He leads me I will follow. Thanks for reading and may God bless you abundantly today! :)