Good-bye 2010, Hello 2011

Can't believe 2010 is ending and 2011 is entering. What a year it has been! God has done so much this year in my life. Looking back, I am grateful for all that He has done. There were good moments and bad moments. Memories that I will treasure and situations I want to forget. On one hand, I experienced the joy of new and continuing friendship through road trips and various social activities. I look forward to having many more fun-filled memories in 2011. On the other hand, I dealt with moments of low point when I felt I was distant from God. God was always there for me, it was just me who felt that I was so far away. I thought if I just try hard enough to be closer to God then maybe I would not feel so distant but God accepts me just as I am. God loves me, silly naive me. In 2010, I learned more about patience and love. I am still working progress and some days, I don't quite understand myself. God wired me uniquely and I am trying to figure out how does God want to use my potential for His glory. It's been frustrating and there were times when I want to just give up but at those times, God encourages me somehow through people or situations that I don't quite comprehend. I treasure the learning opportunities and I hope I will actual take them to heart. As for 2011, I want to live the word "simplify" and I want to make the effort to do less. I want to have time to reflect and really dive into God's Words rather than keeping myself busy with one activity to another. It's going to be a challenge since a) I have a hard time saying 'no' and b) I enjoy being around people. I don't want to completely cut off from the activities I am doing but I want to be a good steward of my time. I don't know what 2011 will hold but with the unknown, I hand over my trust to God and believe that He knows the best. In the high and in the low, whatever it may be, may my life bring glory to God. Happy New Years friends and may 2011 be filled with overwhelming love of God in your life!

Miracle

Hard to believe but it has been 21 years ago this time of the year when I was in a school fire accident. Doctors in capital city of South Korea at the time didn't think I would make it but here I am 21 years later, living in capital city of the United States of America, alive. God did what was impossible with man into something possible. Miracle. I didn't deserve that miracle. There were 7 other kids in my classroom who could take my place, instead God wanted me to have this miracle. I am so grateful for what God has done in my life thus far. I am amazed by God's grace and love. I have to remember that during the hard periods of life that God will be with me no matter what. People will come and go in my life but God will always be there for me. Some days, I feel so alone even when I am surrounded by my friends and other days, I feel so energized being around my friends. Lately, I been in this funk and I want to desperately get out of it. I am not content and maybe it's a wake-up call. I just don't know if this means I need to initiate something in my life whether that be starting to think about my future or just wait little longer. I need discernment from God and I need to get out of this funk. I want the joy of the LORD to be my life. Starting now, I commit to seek out the joy of the LORD and have it be part of my life each day. Thanks for reading and may God overwhelm you with His love!

Becoming to Be...

Who am I becoming? This is the question that is running through my head. I do not want to conform to what society stamps as the norm. I do not want to be identical to someone I admire. What do I want to be? I do want to be follower of Christ and radiate His love to a broken world. I want to help an individual to become the person he or she wants to be. I want to be influential not in a controlling way but I want to empower a person to be better. I think I love cheering for people because that makes me so happy knowing that God created that person with so much potential possibilities and abilities that maybe if I gently push him or her, just maybe he or she will have the courage to go forward instead of being stagnant or go backward. In my current state, I do not feel like I am making a difference very much. I strive to be active and engage in people's life but am I encouraging or empowering someone? I wonder if I am using my potential to God's glory and if not, what is keeping me? I just have this sense that I could be doing more but maybe I am being impatient again. I think there's still a lot more lessons to be learned and God is molding me each day. How am I becoming the person that God knows I can be? I think I need to start praying more and listening to Him rather than trying to figure it out on my own. Just thoughts I been pondering about. Thanks for reading and may God bless you abundantly!

Word

Words really affect me. When someone praises or criticizes me, I take it to heart and I accept or I think about it for while. There was point in my life when I could not take criticism or compliment very well. I came to realize that I can learn from criticisms and I can take hold of compliments by not letting it become prideful in my life. I am learning that I cannot allow words to affect me so much. For example, when someone tells me I am doing a job well done, then, I need to just thank him or her, instead of not owning to the accomplishment. On the other side, when I receive criticism, I tend to think poorly of myself and I need to stop beating myself up mentally but learn from it.

What is it about a word that affect me in a such powerful or impacting ways? Growing up, I heard words that were hurtful about my appearance and even now, I cringe whenever I hear certain words. I love to listen to the lyrics of the music and it's usually determines if I like that song or not. I think the words in a speech can inspire or discourage the audience. Words in a book can change some one's life or be an entertainment when all others fail.

I value the words that's spoken and I try to say only what I mean. Sometimes it's so hard to say the word and I fumble when I talk but I hope I am genuine when I speak. I think actions can speak louder than words some days. There are so many instances when I feel like I have just the right words but then I do not have the words at that moment.

What would it be like if people used words that would build each other up rather than tearing each other down? How can words be used to bring life into a person who needs it? This is glimpse of what I am thinking these days. Thanks for reading and may the love of Christ radiate your day!

Being Teachable

I been thinking a lot about what makes me alive and motivates me to go forward. After much pondering, one that came to mind is learning. I love to learn and digest what I have learned. I love the feeling of learning and coming to understand what I have been taught. I was not always teachable. I used to be stubborn and set in my ways. I think I learn to be teachable when I went to college and from there I just wanted to learn as much as possible. I am lifelong learner and I hope I continue to be teachable. When I was younger, I did not want to learn or try new ideas or actions. I wanted to walk in the old ways and stay clear of the new ways. With time, I came to appreciate learning new ideas or actions. In my Christian walk, I strive to be a disciple of Christ and I feel like I am continuously learning about what it really means to have a Christ-centered life. Learning excites me and I wish I can be a lifelong professional student but I remember I still need to pay my bills so I have to make a living by working in a job. Deep inside me, I want to learn and take the challenges that come with learning. Currently, I feel stuck and I do not know if I am being challenged enough in my life as whole. I kind of wish I was back in college or graduate school and learn about some subject that may interest me. One of my favorite hobby is sports. I feel like I have so much to learn and understand certain sports. For example, I love baseball and cheering for my teams but secretly, I want to understand how to keep count and mark it down on the scorecard. I just find it fascinating when fans at the ballpark write on the scorecard. All I do is cheer for the team and try to follow the game much as possible. To be honest, I think I would love baseball even more if I understand the game much better. Another example, the Bible. I love the Bible and there is so much to learn about in the Bible. I think sometimes I just merely read the Bible and miss the lessons or points that God may be teaching me at that moment. There's so many other examples and I want to continue to learn. I believe that if I was not teachable then I would not be the person I am right now. I learned to take care of myself when I had to move away from my family. I learned to enjoy variety of food and eating new types of food. I learned to speak another language other than my native language. I learned to appreciate being photographed and taking photos to capture the moments. I am slowly learning to say no when appropriate and learning to rest. Life is full of lessons I need to learn and I hope I continue learning even when I am very old. All this to write, I want to be teachable and learn as much as possible.Thanks for reading and may Christ love fill you up today.

"Teach me your way, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name." -Psalm 86:11

Rest

I learned my lesson today and it's a repeated lesson. Past week, I was doing activities non-stop and this morning I felt the effect of it all. My body was telling me that I need to stop and rest. I stayed at my apartment and took my sick leave today from work. My friends were having a get-together but I had to forgo on that. As much as I like to do stuff with my friends, I am realizing that if I don't care for my body then no one else will. I am not a robot that can function continuously, even robot will stop if it's energy source is gone. It was nice to just rest and recharge. I think I need to seriously look at what all I am doing and have a time when I can rest. May you find rest and peace in Christ today!

"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body." -1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Joy in the LORD

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." Romans 12:12

Where does my joy come from? The hope of Christ. Lately, I feel like I have been lacking in the joy department. Circumstances surrounding me have detract me from having that joy that it has made me feel down and discouraged. However, my close good friend prayed over me via email today & almost brought tears in my eyes as I read the words she wrote with encouragment to my heart. She prayed in her email that God will restore the joy in my life and that really struck my heart. I think I let the world suck me into thinking that I need to worry rather than trust in Jesus only. Whatever situtation I am, I just need to give it to the LORD rather than thinking it over in my head and leading to unnecessary stresses. I think I need to spend more time in the Word and prayer. Hope in Christ. Joy in my heart. Thankful that this life is not about what I do but the glory of His name. May Christ fill your heart with joy and peace! Thanks for reading!

Season of Learning

"Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD." Psalm 27:14

It's been a while since I last wrote an blog entry and I feel like it was just yesterday when it was the start of the new year. Last month was my one year anniversary working in my current position at my company. I am getting in the work routine and slowly what I am doing at my job is not as challenging as I first started. I am grateful to be working especially in this economy but I just feel like I could be doing something more with my skills, talents and gifts. However, in my heart, I feel a tug that saying I need to wait. Although, I may not know the role that my current job position will play in the future, I will continue to learn much as possible until I am called do something else. A phrase that really stuck out to me in this weekend's Pastor Mark's message was 'every opportunities is a preparation for the future.' Right now, I feel like I am stuck and wish I knew what exactly God is calling me to do in life. I have this sense of wanting to jump into something new but I also have this conflicting side of me that says I need to learn to be patient. I think learning to wait is a constant lesson I am faced with since I graduated from college. I think God is trying to teach me to trust Him and rely on Him more than anything else in this world. I am learning that I may work hard and strive to give it 200% in my job; however, I need to let God direct me rather than me trying to take action on my own. I am stubborn and independent when it comes to asking for help. These days, I feel like I ask God for help so much. Part of me want to hold on to being stubborn and independent but I know that I need to let go and let God work within and through me. I am also learning that I am human being and I cannot constantly keep myself busy. I need to stop and breath. I am learning to take one day at a time and not try to finish everything that day. God is so gracious and patient with me. He demonstrates His love over and over again but I seem to need that reminder over and over again. My prayer is that I will learn to wait for the LORD and patiently learn the lessons He has for me. Also, I pray that He will teach me to love people as He loves us first. So much to learn and so much to soak in all the lessons. I am very thankful for the opportunity to learn and all the people who are in my life to help me with the lessons. May God give you the opportunities to learn and give you joy in your life! Thanks for reading!

What's to Come ...

First off, Happy New Year!!!!

Now that's off my chest, so far it's been a good few days into 2010. I don't know where God is leading me but this I know, I eagerly wait for the LORD. It's been three years in Washington, DC and how time flies. There's a lot I am thankful for but there's a lot of questions of my future. I feel restless some days with what I am doing in DC. Don't get me wrong, I am grateful for what I have in my life so far but I get this sense that there's got to be more to what God wants to do through and in me. I feel like maybe I am selling myself short or maybe, I am suppose to just wait. Right, waiting. Did I mentioned that I am not good at being patience? Outwardly, I may seem patience but inwardly I am not patient. As I go into this new year, I want to work on being more patient and wait on Him. I desire to become more like Christ in everything I say, act and do. I want to love God like Jesus did. I want a heart that reflects my heavenly Father and bring Him glory. This seems impossible but with Christ, everything is possible. I want more Spirit of God to live in and through me. I want to listen more and talk less when I pray to Him. In the silence, He is there. I want to put Him first and get rid of the idols in my life. What are the idols of my life? What controls me? What do I serve? How can I remove the idols in my life and put Him first in my life?

There's a lot to pray and think about. I am excited about what's to come but also scared about it too. I should not be afraid. I am going to be bold and courageous in Christ who believes in me when everything may seem confusing and chaotic. Peace of Christ. May the peace that only Christ can give be with you today and know that He loves you more than you can imagine. Thanks for reading!