God is ... Love

This last weekend, Craig Groeschel, pastor of LifeChurch.tv delivered the message on God is...Love. It's true, I heard all my life that God loved me but I'm not sure half of that time I heard that I truly believed it. Lately, all I can think about is how can a great God love me. I am amazed by His Grace and I don't think I truly understand how much God loves me. God loves each and every one of us that He would send His One and Only son to experience death and cleanse of our sins. God loves us so much that He came down to earth and became one of us. I think that God gives His Grace and Love to us and it is up to us either to accept it or decline it. My life without Him would contain chaos and fear. Even in the dry season when I feel like God is in the distant and I am at my worst, I know that He is with me through it all. Who am I that He would call me His own? I think I would be the smallest in the Kingdom of God if there ever was one. I constantly fail in loving my neighbor as myself and I am not sure I am loving my enemies as Jesus commended. I want to love like Jesus and follow hard after Him. To deny myself and take up His cross. Can I do that? Not on my own power but with His, I can. How do you see God? My God is Love and He loves me just for who I am. Grazie Signore. May Christ love dwell abundantly in your heart! Thanks for reading! :)

All Things New...

Yesterday was my first day of my new job and I also went to Hillsong United concert that I needed. I really love the Hillsong United's heart that it's not about the show but about encountering God by worshipping Him in singing the songs. Lately, I am just so amazed by His Grace and how can a Great God love us, sinners. Christ died for us and He died for me, smallest of all. I feel so minuscule and sometimes I wonder how can God use a person like me in this world, but He does. He is using me constantly even when I don't realize He is using me. For instance, my story is His story. Whenever I tell people about why I look the way I do and the joy that fills my heart, it's all Him. He's my reason for living and being here in DC. I can't imagine not having Him in my heart. Past weekend, Pastor Mark spoke about God is ... Spirit and I am still chewing on that. I think sometimes we as Christian forget about the Holy Spirit and I think I am coming to learn that I need the Holy Spirit in my life. God the Father, God the Son and God the Spirit. I thirst and hunger for His coming. There's so many people who are searching for something to fill the longing they have. I wish with all my heart that they will stop searching because the answer is right in front of them; but who am I to say stop the search, I can't. More I read the Bible, more I become intrigued and in awe of God. His Love is beyond all measures and so amazing. I fail. I stumble. I am imperfect. However, His Grace has pick me up from the dirt and He whispers that He loves me just as I am. How can I keep on sinning when we have a God who loves us first? So many questions and thoughts to ponder. May God fill you with His love and may you experience His Grace. Thanks for reading! 

New Adventure

It's been couple days now since I found out that I was officially hired for a position at my current company and the initial excitement has slowed down. I was so excited and happy to be hired (especially in the economy we live in) and I was smiling the whole day. I love adventures and taking on life; however, I do not like to put myself in risk though. I like to be daring but there's also part of me that talk myself from going for whatever challenge I may face at a certain situation. As much as I was thrilled about my new job, there also came the worries of if I would meet the expectation of my new supervisor and how I would perform in my new job. I know it's silly of me to start thinking this way but I am still recovering perfectionist and people-pleaser. I am an optimist and I see every opportunity as building more experiences in life and meeting new people; however, I am also a worrier. I see my new job as a new adventure and new chapter in my life. My first real permanent job with benefits and working in a company with good cause. I know that there's going to be challenges ahead but there's also going to be great opportunities. I pray that my new job will help advance the kingdom of God whether that be me sharing my faith with my co-workers through words or my life examples. I am looking forward to the new adventure and what God will do through and in my life. :) Thanks for reading!

Thankful - New Job!

I am utterly grateful to God for His provision and timing. I was hired for a desired job and will be starting this position soon! I am thankful and my heart is overwhelmed by His love. What an amazing God! Thank you Lord for who you are and who you created me to be!

Still Waiting...

What a week it has been! Last Friday, I had an interview and on Monday, I was called to a second interview for the same position. So, I had the second interview this morning and decision is in God's hand. I came to realize that God's timing is the best timing. I look back this time last year, I was still in graduate school trying to figure out if I was doing God's will and this time around, I am just giving it all to God. I am learning that it's not what I do but what He does through me. As I await the decision about the position I interviewed for, I pray that whatever the decision, may God be glorified and His Will be done. :)

Waiting ... Once Again.

"Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD." -Psalm 27:14

So, last Friday, I had my interview for the position in the current company I am working for as a consultant. Interview was almost a hour long and questions asked were challenging and thought-provoking to say the least. I responded to the questions as best way I could answer the interviewers and I hope that my responses were what they were looking for in the candidate they want to hire for this particular position. I won't know about the decision from the interviewers until couple weeks but I have hope in the LORD who is all-knowing and is in control of all situation. Whatever the decision, I pray that I am in the center of His Will and not on my own ambition. Right now, all I can is wait and pray that He will lead me to a job that is in His Will, not mine. Also, in the process of waiting, I will continue to apply for more jobs and see if I get any more interviews while at it. Song that really struck me this weekend was "Everything" by Tim Hughes. I want Christ to be my everything and the lines that jumped out to me were:
"God in my hoping There in my dreaming God in my watching God in my waiting
God in my laughing There in my weeping God in my hurting God in my healing"
And the song continues with "Christ in me, Christ in me, Christ in me, Hope of Glory. Be my everything. " To check out the lyrics to "Everything": http://www.higherpraise.com/lyrics/awesome/awesome4260.html
So, here I am waiting and watching that wherever Christ leads me, I will follow Him. May Christ fill you with His overwhelming love and grace! Thanks for reading! :)

Going Forward

It's been a roller-coaster ride for me lately and while at first I didn't want to be on the roller-coaster ride, now I am in it and not looking back. This whole job searching process has been interesting and great learning experience. I turned a job offer down and then been turned down a job since the position was filled by someone else. Now, I have a job interview coming up for a position that I applied for a month and a half ago at the current company I am working for as a consultant. When one door closes, a window is opened. I believe that I can't sulk over jobs that I didn't get but learn from the process. I think I tend to beat myself up and criticize myself. As recovering perfectionist and people-pleaser, I need to stop being so hard on myself and learn from my mistakes or failures. I don't regret taking risk and I rather take the chance of making a mistake or failure rather than doing nothing. That being said, when I do make a mistake or a failure, I analyze what I did wrong way too long and thus beat myself up more than necessary. I cross-examine and re-play the scenario in my head. Then, I focus on what I should have said or done in that certain situation. I think I need to refocus myself not on what I did wrong but what I did right more and then from there learn from it. I realize more and more that I can't be perfect in every given situation and that I will make mistakes and fail at times. As many mistakes and failures I have, there's times when I will succeed and will make progress. With finding permanent job, I am making progress and eventually, I will find one that will best suit me. I don't want to be in a job that I want but I want to be in a job that will help me go forward. I don't want more money or higher status but I want a job where I can learn and gain experiences. I hope through this job I can help advance Kingdom of God whether through the work I do or using my skills, talents, gifts and experiences for Kingdom of God. I want God to be the center of my life and wherever He leads me I will follow. Thanks for reading and may God bless you abundantly today! :)