Today at church, pastor Chris preached on the topic of humility as we continue the series of "Prison". He said that we can be imprisoned by our emotional and circumstantial prisons and provided three essentials for having humility in our lives. First was to elevate other people, second was to exalt Christ and the third was to experience joy in all circumstances. What challenged me most was the third essential. The first two I work on daily to strive for but third one sometimes I fail to experience joy in every situation I may be going through right now in my life. These past two years has been hard for me and I do not like to ask for help if I can do it myself. I do not like to burden other people with my troubles and also make someone feel uncomfortable or inconvenient by asking them for favors or help. I think I struggle also with some aspect of pride. Not the pride of elevating myself but pride of not asking for help when I need it or sharing my prayer requests with other followers of Christ. I dislike telling my parents when I am going through rough times and my parents only find out when I break down when I cannot keep it inside me anymore. So elevating other people is second nature to me because that's what I saw in my parents', grandparents' and other followers of Christ exemplified in their lives. I strive each day to exalt Christ through my actions and words. So, the joy part, well, that's a tough one and I try to be joyful in all circumstances but really I am no good at it. I usually put on a smile and not let anyone really know what is going on in my life by saying that everything is going fine but really everything is not okay and I want my situations to be better than what it is right now. However, through it all, the joy does not come from myself but through Christ who gives me the joy in my life. If I was not a Christ follower, I do not think I would be joyful in my life. My life was not easy and everything I do seems to be hard to obtain. For example, getting my Masters, not an easy gain and still not having a permanent job is making me worry but I trust that God has a job out there for me in time. I feel embarrassed at times when I talk to another person about my life because I want to tell them that life is great and I am living the "American Dream". Yet, I think the hard times develop more character in me and God is teaching me each day to rely on Him rather than on myself or other people. What hard lessons I have learned these past two years and my stubbornness to go my way when really it's His way that's most important. So, I am learning that what I want is not always what God has in mind for me. One clear example is me wanting to be a doctor so bad that it did not hit me until my senior year in college that being a doctor is not what God was calling me to do. I think I felt obliged to give back by becoming a doctor but there are so many other ways to help people not just by treating someone physically but also emotionally and mentally. I received much from the doctors who treated my burns and I just felt like I needed to become a doctor. I think my intention was good but I was not passionate about what I was going to do as a doctor. Another example is me wanting to get a permanent job in Vocational Rehabilitation Counseling field right away after I obtained my Master's; however, that has yet to be true and I desire to be in that field soon. But, I am learning that my experiences at my current employment is invaluable and I love what I do right now. I am learning so much about democracy and human rights issue. I am learning so much about the injustices around the world and I also have the opportunity to get involve with organizations that is fighting the injustices in foreign countries such as North Korea which I have a heart and passion for this country to have the freedom that each human has the rights to. Looking back these past two years, I feel like God is breaking me down and humbling me in every aspect of my life. I am not the person I was just two years ago who was at Baylor trying to get into medical school and realizing that I did not have the passion to be a doctor that I originally thought all along. Not being a doctor really hurt me and it took a long time for me to come to a realization that God has a better plans for my life than just being a doctor. I do not know yet what God wants me to do with my life especially career wise. Yes, I have a Master's degree in Vocational Rehabilitation Counseling; however, I do not know if that is a career I will have for a long term. I have other dreams such as working for the UN and also working in political setting such as congress possibly. Also, I would love to continue working at the Democracy Resource Center as a librarian possibly. I am so confused about where I am going in my life but I am so glad that God is in control and I do not have to worry about my life. My life is not my own and only through Christ I am alive. Through grace of God, I am living and striving to become more like Christ each day. So, here's me going against my pride and asking for your prayer. My dad has diabetes and he also has bad liver problem. Due to both of the condition, my dad's health has not been optimal lately. He was on medication that made him drowsy and tired all the time. Recently, through answer to a prayer, my dad was able to change his medication and also got testing done on his liver. And the test results showed that my dad needs this certain treatment for his liver since it's getting worst. This scares me a lot. I mean I see my dad as head of the household and he is the one who holds the family together. Don't get me wrong, my family serves Christ first in everything and God is the Head but I believe that God has given my dad the role of being the head of my family. That being said, I want my dad's health to be restored and be healed from the conditions he is going through. So, my parents were waiting and praying to God that the hospital would grant my dad the treatment for his liver. And praise God! He answered that prayer by giving my dad the opportunity to receive the treatment from the hospital. Thank you God! :) So, my prayer request is that the treatment will be effective toward my dad's liver and that his new medication will help with his diabetes. I did not want to share this in my blog but after listening to the message today, I am not letting my pride getting in the way of being more humble like Christ. I do not have much to offer and I have my flaws that I am working on; but, I know this for sure that the love of Christ has so captivated me to become more like Him each day. So, here's me asking would you pray for my dad and also for me that I will be more joyful in my circumstances? Thank you for reading and I hope that love of Christ will overwhelm you today!
No comments:
Post a Comment