Not a Good Day...

So here's me raw and human, I am optimistic and positive person most of the time but I do have bad days just like everyone else. I am not perfect in anyways and still a working progress as Pastor Mark talked about in his sermon past Sunday. I think lately I am being trapped in the "prison of negativity" and as I said, I am usually positive person who have a optimistic view of life. It's just right now, I feel like my life is slowly falling apart. Don't get me wrong, God is holding me together and He is the one reigning in my heart; however, I just feel like without Him, I would be completely a mess. Juggling three jobs is not easy as it looks and I am very thankful for having these jobs; however, it would be nice if I had a permanent job so I don't have to worry about where my next paycheck will come to pay the bills and also have some leftover for myself. Financial managment is something I will work on a lot this year and also budgeting since I am not in school anymore, loan payments are due and also paying my rent/bills at the same time. It's going to be very tight monetary year; yet, I hope that this won't keep me from going on the Ethiopia trip. It's coming up soon and right now, I feel discouraged not because of the finance but just things going on in my life. I am having second thoughts about going; however, I believe and feel strongly this is where God is calling me to do. I mean I am not at all worry about the financial aspect of the trip because He is providing as I write this blog; but I am more worry about taking time off from work and there's so much to do at work right now that I don't know how I am going to make the hours up. Then there's people who are sharing with me that maybe this may not be a good time to go, but when is a good time to go? I just feel down lately and I shouldn't be. Please keep me in prayer and I know that God will grant me peace and joy if this is what He wants me to do. Thanks!